Sunday, July 1, 2007

Highlights from a few days on, and a few days off.

Let's see, we left off on Monday with my two trips to Plum Island... Tuesday was exactly the same, only hotter. The truck at one point hit 140*F inside! Not too many tales of conquest, my brain was a bit too frazzled from the heat to remember anything funny. I had Wednesday off and took my mom's new 2007 Saab 9-3 Sport Sedan Anniversary 2.oT up to Eliot to cash out. People were starting to wonder what an ice cream man was doing with a brand new $34,000 car, thought I had a good day and all that. I spent the day in the office, got some tacos with Jamie and picked my parents up at Logan when they got back from their trade show in Las Vegas.

Thursday I was presented with an adventure -- a corporate outing in Exeter. So I drove down and parked the truck for a couple of hours. Great success! So after I made more than I make in a typical day in 2 hours, I did an abbreviated version of my daily Newburyport run. I got back to Eliot around 9:30 and as I was getting out of the truck to gas it up, my phone rang. It was my neighbor Emilie who I thought had gone up north for the summer but was actually home for the night and wanted to get her drink on. So I put the truck back in its spot, inventoried and jumped in the Saab. I called Emilie back and said I'd be there in exactly 20 minutes (including time for me to freshen up and check email). True to my word, I did just that and 20 minutes later I was in her driveway. We drove to Portsmouth, and upon realizing that it sucked I said "Why not Newburyport?" Granted, at this point it was already quarter of 11... "Isn't it kind of late to go there? Its so far away!" she said. I shrugged it off and made yet another prediction of time. "We'll be there in 20 minutes flat" I said as we shook on it. I pressed the night panel button and pressed back into the seat as we accelerated onto I-95. Once again true to my word, the Saab landed on time and we proceeded to get our drink on at Michael's Harborside.

Having teetered on that line between charming and tipsy, I called it quits after a deuce of 22oz and another pair of 11oz Sam Summer and we made our way north around 1am. In an effort to curb any adverse effects in the morning, I stopped at the On The Run in Salisbury before getting on 95. The only food greasy enough to achieve such results were the hot dogs stewing in their own grease. I slapped a couple on some buns and proceeded to put some mustard on them when I heard a most disgusting "THWAP!" on the ground -- Emilie dropped her hot dog. We scrambled to throw it out before anyone noticed and she proceeded to prepare another one. As that happened, a couple of younger guys came over and Emilie, who was a touch beyond charming at this point yelled "STAY AWAY FROM THE BEEEAAHHHH! YOU'AH TOO YOUNG TO BUY BEEEEAAHHH!" I just walked away at this point as she continued to harass the 16 year old dudes and as I was checking out I heard her continue to pontificate "YOU'AH 16!! YOU'AH TROUBLE!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT 16 GETS YOU?!?!" and all the truckers and people standing around were totally laughing at her, I decided to utter "TWENTY!" as a crude reference to the age of consent laws in the Granite State. So having quieted that situation down, we got back in the Saab and went back to Stratham.


The next morning, I felt like absolute shit. Those hotdogs were about as effective as the goggles they made Ranier Wolfcastle wear on that episode of the Simpsons where they were making a Radioactive Man movie. So I made a b-line for McDonalds, as they had the classic hangover helper -- the Egg McMuffin! With said hangover helper procured, I hopped on the highway and went to Eliot to cash out from my prosperous day before. With my wallet stuffed, I went to my office and worked for the remainder of the day. Saturday, I did the same. This morning, I installed an AudioTroll in a customer's Saab and at this very moment, I am sitting in Market Square drinking coffee and enjoying the scenery. Giggity-giggity-goo!

1 comment:

Live Free or Die Drinking said...

excellent Radioactive Man reference, stay crazy you nut.