Berwick, Somersworth and my redneck past...

After a brief stop off at my office in Greenland, I went up to Eliot to grab a truck and do whatever route the Sandra said I'd be doing. Alas, it was not Newburyport... that brought me great sadness as I really wanted to go back out onto Plum Island and try to get that hot British nanny's number. Instead, I was given the South Berwick, Berwick, Somersworth and possibly Rollinsford route with a 3:30 gig at a day care center just near my buddy Steve's Saab repair garage.

Wasting no time, I ensured the truck was stocked and gassed. I made my way westward from the yard and arrived in South Berwick some 7 minutes later. I tooled around to get a feel for the area, then ventured into a neighborhood. As I wound through the streets and down a hill into a cul-de-sac, three buxom coeds in bikinis emerged from their house! Great success! I knew that despite the overcast skies and occasional drizzle from above that it was gonna be a lovely day. I managed to sell a bit of ice cream in South Berwick proper, and then made my way towards Berwick and Somersworth not long thereafter.

Before crossing into New Hampshire, I managed to make a few sales in and around the intersection of Routes 236 and 9. I then took a nice drive up Route 108 in Somersworth, with minimal success pulling into various car dealerships and businesses. Then came the motherload -- a pool party! That made up for every mechanic that didn't throw down the Snap Ons and come get ice cream. I continued back into downtown Somersworth and subsequently back towards Maine. It was getting to be 3-o-clock and I had to be over at that day care in Berwick for 3:30. I decided to go visit my buddy Steve as my buddy Ken needed a seat repair kit for his 1984 Saab 900 Turbo.

I pulled up and parked the truck so it would be partially obscured from Steve's viewpoint. His younger son was in a 1989 900, futzing around like little kids do but Steve was nowhere to be found. I walked into the garage and encountered Steve and his older son getting repair instructions off the computer. So I get to talking with Steve and I somehow brought up "...well that's better than what I'm driving". Steve asks "What are you driving?" to which I responded "The uh, Nine-Ice Cream Truck". Suffice to say, the youngest of the Snow clan got himself a Ninja Turtle pop and I was on my way to give ice cream to the kids up the street.

Upon landing the rusting hulk at the day care center, I was quickly trust back 20 years to a time when I once lived under that regime... forced naptime, smelly kids, Teddy Bear peanut butter and the constant smell of tempera paint no matter where you were. The warden, er, day care lady let the kids out two at a time from the fenced in pen to get their ice cream. But in the end, it wasn't so bad -- sold like $60 worth of ice cream and caught a smile from the cutest girl on the staff! As I left, I pondered my next move for the day and decided it was time to unleash the daily piece-de-resistance -- traveling to outlying neighborhoods where the truck never goes!

So I hopped on one of the roads that headed north from Berwick proper and spent a good hour and a half selling lots of ice cream in the sticks. When I returned to Berwick, I parked the truck by the baseball field and ate dinner. I managed to snag a few sales in the half an hour or so I was parked there, but knew that the real money would come in the approaching dusk across the river in Somersworth. So when the coast looked clear, and the game was in the 3rd inning or so, I knew I had about an hour to go do what I had to do. And I did. Somersworth was a lucrative market and when I returned to the field in Berwick, the game was just letting out so I managed to rake in a few more bucks.

I had tapped the Berwick market, so it was time to head to South Berwick for a nighttime sweep of the faithful neighborhoods. Before I did that, though, I went into Rollinsford, NH for a few minutes and managed to clean up at the end of an adult softball league game. My last stop of the night came soon thereafter in South Berwick where some lady bought an obscene amount of product, and even some for her neighbors. Crazy! So the short ride back to Eliot came and went, and I found myself gassing up the truck for the night alongside the guy who does the Rochester route. Now this guy looked very familiar when I started, but I couldn't place him. Well we got to talking and as it turns out, he just moved down from Claremont 4 months ago and lived there at the same period of time when I did. Small world.

I forgot to grab an order form in the morning, so I'd have to come back and do that in the morning. All in all, a good day and that's 4 more towns I've got figured out.

No Child Left Behind

Today I got to go out on my actual route - Newburyport, MA. I arrived at the office around 11 with my iPod dock/speaker setup, lunch and cash box all ready to roll. I cashed out for the previous day and prepped the truck for the 30 mile southbound journey into my territory. This was the first time I'd had one of the trucks out on the highway myself, or for that matter, a truck with a working speedometer. Topping up the gas tank, I gave the truck a last once-over and headed to I-95.

The truck did not-to-sixty in about 3 minutes, and I stuck to the right lane. Everything was great until I encountered what I thought would be an even slower vehicle than mine just after exit 3B on 95... the state street sweeper. I was doing about 55 (sssh, Safety Steve says the truck can only go 45!) and I managed to pass this thing while it was in the shoulder lane. Then about a minute later I looked in the rearview mirror and he was gaining on me! The picture at right is the aftermath of that most severe pwnage.

Fifteen minutes later, I pointed the truck to exit 57 in Massachusetts to start my Newburyport route. Having a sneaking suspicion that the kids were still stuck in school, I decided to take a ride out to Plum Island to see if I could stir up any touristy business in that neck of the woods. Sure enough, I managed to snap up a few sales and establish my presence along what should be a very well traveled route as the summer heats up. I encountered a cute blond British nanny with a handful of kids near the lighthouse, I'm hoping they will be repeat customers! After a good hour and a half making my way around the island, I headed inland. By this point, school was letting out and that meant new opportunities to sell stuff. I ended up landing the truck on a side street near the high school and acquired a few good sales. When I felt my welcome had been worn out, I took a spin by a friend's house on an adjacent street. A couple of kids stopped me, bought some ice cream and told me that the skate park was the place to get business. Well, what else could I do, right?

The skate park was visible from where I was sitting, but only accessible through the Middle School's parking lot. So I made my way over to the Middle School parking lot, and just as the kids told me, swarms of skaters made their way over to the truck. I must have sold a good $30 worth of ice cream before the principal of the Middle School came over to have a chat. He basically gave me the whole "it's school property, so you can't be here" talk -- so I shook his hand and acknowledged that it wouldn't happen again. I shut the cooler and hopped back in the drivers seat. As soon as my ass touched the vinyl, one more kid walked up to the side of the truck. "Sorry buddy, they told me I can't sell here anymore..." I explained. "Aww, come on man... just one more?" he pleaded. "Sure, what the hell, kid" I exclaimed as I fetched him his frosty treat. Just then, the principal noticed the transaction in progress and gave me a rather stern look. I wrapped up the transaction and put the wheels in motion, making sure to kick up the ol' music box an extra notch and yelled out the window, "HEY! NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND!" He just shook his head and walked off.

I then ventured to the land that Newburyport forgot... the other side of I-95. When they built I-95 in the 1950's as a "Route 1 Replacement", they routed it away from the middle of downtown Newburyport in the middle of existing farm land and whatnot. Widening of this road in the 1970's cut off a number of smaller roads that used to traverse the city and left only a few roads connecting one half of the city with the other. Anyway, all roadgeekery aside, I combed the neighborhoods on the other side of town with great precision and scored a great deal of business that I'm hoping will be repeat business as the summer goes on. It is also fair to mention the great deal of attractive babysitters that work in this city, brings me great joy as I tool around in the giant white box on wheels.

The neighborhood trolling went on till 8 or so... at which point I decided to take a swing through the waterfront area downtown and try to close out the day on a high note. I did manage to get a few more sales, and that was good enough for me. I headed back to the highway and north to Maine to drop off the truck for the night. All in all, a great day that will set the stage for many more.